


If You Love Someone...

by lilsherlockian1975



Series: The Hardest Part [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, F/M, Forgiveness, Friendship, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Love, Some Humor, Stag Night, The unrequited love is not Severus and Hermione!, Unrequited Love, loving is hard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-22
Updated: 2018-06-22
Packaged: 2019-05-26 16:57:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15005291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilsherlockian1975/pseuds/lilsherlockian1975
Summary: On the eve of his wedding, someone interrupts Severus' stag night to have a rather serious conversation with him. He thought the wizard might challenge him to a duel. In the end, that might have been easier."I need your advice, sir."I'm not telling you how to curse me, you idiot. "Advice?""Yes, sir." The younger wizard stood, pacing behind his chair. He was slightly shaky but managed nevertheless. "You've been through this, you see. And… I don't mean any disrespect, understand, but I…" The boy looked a bit terrified for a moment.Merlin's little pink knickers! Snape suddenly realised what this actually was and wished he was being hexed instead. He had no response.





	If You Love Someone...

**Author's Note:**

> **Happy Summer Solstice, everyone!**
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Here's a little ficlet for you all, hope you like it. I warn you it's angsty, but the angst is not between Severus and Hermione (if that helps). Big thanks to Darnedchild and Elizabeth K1 for the very quick turnaround on betaing and Potter-picking this. Any and all mistakes belong to me, thank you very much. The rating is for implied adult entertainment (background).
> 
> I own nothing. Enjoy ~Lil~

Severus knew he was supposed to be enjoying himself, but he wasn't. Standing with his back against the wall near the entrance of the room, he watched the most unlikely group of wizards he'd ever witnessed ogle, hoot and toss coins at the witches on the raised platform.

It  _was_ amusing, but the performance could not hold his attention. He took a drink of Lucius' aged whisky and observed as his best friend, his godson, the Minister for Magic, Filius flipping Flitwick, and a motley crew of former students - just to name a few - enjoy the talents of two witches whom he was certain he'd taught at some point in his life.

 _Disturbing,_  he thought as Flitwick got a pat on top of the head and a kiss on the cheek from the blonde for what appeared to be an enormous tip.  _How can I possibly judge them considering…?_ That thought made him smile, just a little. He took another drink, his mind wandering to the near future and the upcoming events.

"Sir," a voice pulled him from his reverie.

"Potter. Why aren't you enjoying…" He looked back to the 'stage' and motioned with his glass. "... Coco and Gigi?"

"I believe they're named Crystal and Misty, sir."

Snape shrugged.

"Can I talk to you alone for a moment?" Potter asked.

There was no point in putting this off; Severus had known it was coming. Frankly, he was shocked that the Boy Wonder had waited until the last minute. Then again, it was so like the other wizard to procrastinate when something unpleasant was involved. Nodding his head, he strode across the room, intent on finding the home's owner.

The  _new_ Malfoy Manor paled in comparison to its predecessor, but it was impressive nevertheless. This party was being held in the drawing room which looked nothing like the room in which Riddle had once held court; Narcissa had made sure of that when she remodeled the mansion. The Malfoy's had 'donated' their previous residence to the Ministry and it was now used as a care home for elderly witches and wizards.

Lucius was seated on an expensive fainting couch, a lovely (if overly Charmed) brunette draped across his left shoulder. "... wouldn't lie to you, my dear!"

_Unless he's breathing. Or the sky's blue. Or pixies are still tiny little bastards..._

"I was  _instrumental_ in the Dark Lord's downfall," Lucius lied smoothly.

"You were instrumental in saving your own arse,  _Lucy_. I need the use of your library for ten minutes," Severus interrupted.

Standing quickly and steadily - though not even flinching at the nickname, thus proving that he was indeed drunk...ish - his old friend looked between Severus and Potter. "Oh! I see. Of course, Severus. You know the key to my wards."

"I also know that Cissy warned you to be on your best behaviour this evening," Snape reminded him.

"Just…  _chatting_ ," the blond wizard defended. "I know to  _look_  but not  _touch_! You'll understand that soon enough, old friend." He chuckled.

Snape ignored him and motioned for Potter to follow as he headed toward the long hallway that led to the Malfoy library.

o0o0o0o0o

Sitting across from The Boy Who Lived and Lived Again, Severus let him take his time.  _At least I'm out of the fray_. He could almost -  _almost_ \- thank the other wizard.

 _I wonder if he'll challenge me to a duel? Surely not, he's not_  that  _stupid… is he?_  Severus studied his former student.  _Oh, gods… he is._

Harry Potter was not very large, not tall or muscular. It seemed he'd stopped growing when he was about fifteen or so. This should have surprised Severus, it didn't, however. Neither Lily or James were small people but Snape had deduced long ago - sometime around the boy's fourth year - that poor diet and other abuses prior to his arrival at Hogwarts were likely the cause of his smaller stature. The same had been the case for Severus, of course, he simply couldn't gain weight. He was tall, at least - just over six feet - but not bulky. His witch had tried for years to  _fatten him up_  (her words), but it was impossible. It seemed that early childhood malnutrition was just another thing that he and the younger wizard had in common.

Potter squirmed and Snape had to force himself not to smirk. The longer they sat there the worse it got, but Severus couldn't muster any sympathy for him. The boy would go from losing himself in thought to staring at the door as if debating on making a run for it. Then his face would take on a look of pure consternation (like he was attempting to solve a complex Arithmancy equation or was  _very_ constipated - Snape couldn't decide which), he'd turn to Severus and open his mouth. But either nerve or words failed him and he'd go back to working out…  _whatever_ he was formulating in his mind.

 _You've had months, Potter - years, actually, to ready this conversation. Shouldn't you have worked it out already?_  But preparation had never been the wizard's strong suit.  _You're lucky I'm enjoying the quiet of this room,_ Snape thought, taking another drink of whisky.

Ten minutes passed. Fifteen. Severus refilled his drink and topped off Potter's. At the twenty-five minute mark, Potter sat forward.  _Ah, action. Finally!_ He was damn near ready just to let the boy hex him and get it over with.

"I need your advice, sir," Potter said.

 _I'm not telling you how to curse me, you idiot._  "Advice, Potter?"

"Yes, sir." The younger wizard stood, pacing behind his chair. He was slightly shaky but managed nevertheless. "You've been through this, you see. And… I don't mean any disrespect, understand, but I…" The boy looked a bit terrified for a moment.

Merlin's little pink knickers! Snape suddenly realised what this  _actually_  was and wished he was being hexed instead. He had no response.

Potter quickly retook his seat. "I know this is… awkward, and you don't owe me…"

_No! I don't!_

"... but, you see, she's asked me for something and I'm not sure if I can do it."

_Don't you think I know this?!_

"I can see by the look on your face that you want to kill me right now. Which is… understandable, I suppose." His head dropped, his long, bushy hair covering his face. "But… But I get it now, you know, how you must have felt all those years… watching my mum with someone else… with your worst…" He looked up, pushing his glasses back up the bridge of his nose, but didn't finish his sentence.

_You little bastard…_

"I'm sorry. I… I have no right, I know."

_NO! You don't!_

The boy looked off into the room for several moments. He picked up his drink and downed it in one gulp then turned back to Snape. "For the first year you two were together I was convinced that this was some sort of retribution. That you were paying my dad back for taking my mum by taking  _her_ from  _me_." He laughed bitterly, his eyes shining with unshed tears. "She was never mine, though, was she?"

And at that moment a very,  _very_  small amount of the animosity Snape had always carried for the boy… died.

"I remember the moment I fell in love with my best friend." He sniffed. "It was that year on the run, looking for the Horcruxes. Ron had left in a huff. He'd always had a hot head, of course, and having a piece of evil hanging around his neck just made it worse. Well, one night - we'd been running for so long, you see - even Hermione had lost some of her hope, but a song came on the wireless and we started dancing. She…" His voice broke. He cleared his throat.

Severus stood, picking up the decanter of whisky and poured the boy another glass.

"Thanks." He took a long pull from the tumbler.

Snape nodded, sitting back down.

"Ah, as I was saying, we danced. It wasn't… romantic or sexual in any way." He kept his gaze off of Severus as he spoke these words, understandably. "It just felt… good. Like we were alive again."

"She has a way of reminding people how to live," Snape said, speaking for the first time in forty-five minutes.

Potter looked surprised for a moment, then nodded in agreement. "It didn't hit me until later that night. She was on watch and I was trying to sleep. I couldn't. I laid there and realised that as much as I loved Ginny… I loved  _her_ more. That I was  _in love_  with Hermione. She was everything. She'd done… so much for me, for us. She gives and gives, never takes, never asks."

 _I don't deserve her,_  Severus thought.

"We don't deserve her," Potter said.

Snape couldn't hold in his gasp.

"What?" the boy asked.

"Nothing. Continue."

Potter inhaled deeply and seemingly tried to get back on track. "Ah, I couldn't tell her, of course. We were in the middle of a war. Then Ron came back after you got me the sword - thanks for that by the way - and he…" Pausing, he took a drink. "When he killed the Horcrux, or tried to, it gave off these images of me and her…" Shaking his head, he said, "He was jealous of us. Thought something was going on… It wasn't, of course, but the things that the locket showed us…"

Snape didn't even want to consider what the boy had seen.

"Ah, you know the rest up to the battle and whatnot. Afterwards, she and Ron… well, for a couple of years, at least, and I tried to make things work with Gin. In the end, I just ended up hurting her. There's been no one serious since."

Half the public thought Potter was gay because of his constant bachelorhood. Snape knew better - had always known. Hearing out loud that the wizard was in love with his witch, however, was… jarring. He had never taken any pleasure in 'stealing' Hermione away from the boy, oddly enough. He could not compare the situation to that of James and Lily. It cheapened what he had with Hermione. If the thought entered his mind, he banished it, easily.

Looking across at Lily's son, at Hermione's best friend, Snape could absolutely empathise with the boy.  _This hurts like hell, doesn't it?_

"I hated you for so long," Potter said, his eyes boring into Snape's. "At first, I hated you for being a bastard in school. Then for killing Dumbledore. And then… you… I thought I hated you because of Hermione. But I don't. Hate you, that is."

Sadness was radiating off of the young man.

"It'd probably be easier if I could, actually, but I can't. You make her so happy that I can't muster the feeling anymore. I had planned on asking you if you loved her tonight, but as I thought about it, I realised how ridiculous the question was. Of course you love her. How could you not? And would you, of all people, make such a public display if you didn't love her wholly and completely? The answer is no."

He was right, of course. The lengths which Severus had gone to for the witch shocked even him at times. But she had changed him, even if he only allowed her to witness that change.

"I realise that I have no right to ask anything more of you…" the boy trailed off, apparently losing his nerve.

"I am responsible for depriving you of your parents, Potter - at least partly - I believe that makes me beholden to you… in some ways," Severus found himself saying. "I am afraid that I have no advice for you, however, because you will not make the same mistakes that I made. You have always tried to be a steadfast friend to Hermione and always will be." Leaning forward, he continued, "You are much older and much less bitter than I was when I drove your mother away. I cannot see you calling your best friend names or deliberately causing her pain because of your foolish pride. It will not be easy, Potter, but if you care about her enough - which I believe you do - you will find a way to move past your feelings and never betray her friendship."

Much to Severus' horror, a single tear fell from the other wizard's eye.

Clearing his throat, he tried to ignore the display. It was surprisingly hard. "Though we have had our differences…" Potter chuckled. "... we will have to continue our association from this point onward. We both care about her too much to do otherwise."

Nodding, Potter said, "I… I don't know how to give her up."

"Then don't." He paused, knowing that the next words had to be said but hating them nevertheless. "She needs you… Harry." He marveled at how difficult it was to speak the boy's first name. "She always will."

"And tomorrow?" the boy asked. "What do I do?"

Snape thought for a moment before answering.  _Could I have done for Lily what Hermione has asked of her best friend?_  Severus knew that she wasn't aware of Potter's feelings or she would have never made the request. He didn't have an answer to his own question, but he did for Potter. "We can only do so much. If you are capable of granting her request, then do so. If not…" Severus attempted to give the young man a comforting look. "You and I both know that she will understand."

Potter nodded and wiped his eyes. "Can I ask you one more question?"

Sighing, Severus said, "I suppose so."

"How did you get over my mum?"

That answer was easy. "I fell in love with your best friend."

o0o0o0o0o

Oddly enough, he wasn't nervous. Standing in the back garden of his and Hermione's cottage, Severus looked around at the hundred or so guests, trying to figure out how many of them he actually knew.

"Doing okay, Severus?" Minerva asked.

"I'm fine," he answered.

She cut her eyes to the man behind the groom. "Should I ask why Lucius Malfoy looks like he's been Kissed by a Dementor?"

Turning, he glanced at the wizard. "I refused to give him one of my headache potions. He had to take one from the apothecary instead."

"Serves him right," she said with a smirk.

He chuckled; so did Draco who stood behind his ailing father.

At that moment the music started. Luna Lovegood and Ginevra Malfoy née Weasley came out of the back door of the cottage, walking arm and arm. Hermione couldn't decide which one of her friends she would have stand up for her, so she picked both. He'd followed her lead and picked both Lucius and Draco to attend him. And it was a good thing, considering his oldest friend seemed like he might keel over at any moment.

"Don't they look lovely?" Minerva commented.

They did, he supposed. The peach coloured robes were a lovely choice. Both witches fairly glowed as they glided down the aisle toward himself, the Headmistress and the Malfoys.

As they took their places, grinning at Severus, he nodded to them, then focused his attention at the door once again.  _Oh, here come the nerves_. His stomach dropped as soon as it opened, revealing his stunning witch draped in creams and whites, smiling madly.

"Breathe, old man," he heard, and he was grateful for Lucius' presence at last.

Drawing a deep breath, Severus watched Hermione's slow trek to his side. It seemed to take an eternity.

When she finally made it, beaming up at him, she whispered, " _Hello."_

"Hi," he answered.

Distantly, he heard Minerva's soft laughter and then, "Who presents this witch to this wizard?"

Only then did his eyes move from Hermione to the man on her left.

The emotion that overtook Severus at that moment could only be described as…  _pride_. Harry Potter stood ramrod straight and resolute, making the most of his five-foot six-inch frame. His eyes hard and determined. Snape knew that look.  _Finally got the hang of Occlumency, didn't you, Potter?_

"I present her," he said, not taking his eyes from Severus'. "Her best friend."

Snape gave the other wizard a single nod as he took Hermione's right hand in his.

"What say you, Mr. Potter, to the wizard with whom you entrust her life?" Minerva asked.

He hated weddings and their ridiculous traditions! This was the part where the father of the bride gave his blessings, his parting advice to his future son-in-law. Hermione's parents were in Australia; they were happy and settled and had no idea that she existed. Though it hurt her, she had made peace with this fact.

Severus was suddenly wishing for a Muggle father-in-law.

Potter had  _not_ let go of Hermione's other hand and Snape was starting to wonder…

"I say," the wizard finally spoke, "may happiness and hope always come easily. May you laugh. May you cry. May you never forget the struggle that brought you here." He paused, looking at Hermione before returning his gaze to Snape. "And take care of my girl, Severus." Kissing her cheek, he stepped back and took his seat in the front row.

 _Oh, Lily,_  Snape thought.  _Look at what you made._

**Author's Note:**

> Please, please tell me what you think. This one hurt... a bit. Thank you so much for reading. ~Lil~


End file.
